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HOUSE VS VENKMAN #2 [Feb. 14th, 2007|04:39 pm]
The House MD/ Ghostbusters community!



Part I:  Stuck in an elevator.

“So, what do you do?” 
House considered lying but was too pissed off. 
“Me too! What of?” 
House fixed his opponent with a laser-glare that just bounced off the arrogant, pot marked face.
 “Medicine.” An afterthought,  “And you?”
“Psychology and parapsychology”
“Afraid of real work?” 
“Damn straight. Why work when I can run invasive tests on cute college girls in the name of science?” 
A glint of respect appeared in House’s eyes. 
Three hours later the engineer arrived and asked if everyone was ok. 
All he could hear was the stoned laughter of two doctors hopped up on Vicodin. 

Part II:  In the bar. 

 “My friends are nerds,” Venkman said, morosely staring into the bottom of his glass. 
“Mine’s more of a geek.” House replied, suddenly realising he hadn’t seen Wilson all day.   
Venkman sighed and looked up at House, “You know what they’re probably doing now? Researching something really spooky but really important for the future of mankind. That’s what they’re doing. Probably.” He finished his drink and waggled a finger at the bartender to get his attention.   
“Well that sounds pretty dull.” House nodded at the bartender to pour him another shot too, before continuing, ”Sitting here drinking with me is much more fun, so what’s your problem?” 
Venkman sighed dramatically, and slumped back down in his chair, “They’re doing it without me. That’s my problem. They don’t need me, they’ve got each other to bounce off ideas and theories and whacked out, totally insane experiments.   It used to be just me and Ray, we’d work together on projects - he’d do all the legwork and I’d be in charge of the presentation, and we’d get straight As - all the time! Then, after college, I met Egon, and I thought to myself,  “Hey, this guy’s smart. He could help me get a PhD or two. So I started hanging out with him. Of course, I couldn’t just ditch Ray – can you imagine him out in the real world all by himself? 
House tried to interrupt and point out that he hadn’t actually met Ray, but Venkman was in full stride with his sorry reminiscing, “…He wouldn’t last five minutes, so I had to introduce him to Egon and naturally they hit it off big time, with their boring conversations about particle theory and cross-transmorphorical time contingencies and….,” Venkman struggled to think of further examples, “Science stuff,” he exclaimed, waving his drink around in his hand before managing to find his mouth. He sighed again, “Anyway, what about your friends?”
“Friend, singular,” House corrected, “I’m his one and only. Except when he gets a girlfriend who becomes a wife, who then becomes a shrieking banshee, then I have to turn to ‘Project Free Jimmy.’ and spring him out.” 
Venkman snorted, “Ha! At least I don’t have to worry about that kind of thing with Ray and Egon.” 

He drank some more, looking vaguely around the bar. Spotting a group of men laughing together and playing pool, his face fell. “You know, I really am a crappy friend. I made Ray sell his family home.”
House shrugged, “I lost Wilson his job.”
“I got us all kicked out of the university because of my stupid research projects.”
“I lost Wilson his job – again.”
“I got us all thrown into jail.”
“I got Wilson to bail me out of jail.”
“I twisted Ray’s ears.”
“I hit Wilson with my cane.”
Lost in his own, regretful thoughts, Venkman didn’t seem to hear what House was saying. Until House drained another drink, took a deep breath and said, “When he split up from his third, (and hopefully final) wife, I let Wilson stay at my place, but kicked him out after one night. Then I ate all his food, made him do all the housework, played tricks on him until he snapped and then I deleted all the messages from realtors so he wouldn’t leave me.” 
Venkman stared at House for several long seconds. “Man,” he finally decided, “That’s really messed up.”
Finishing his own drink, Venkman resolutely stood up and held his hand out, “Doctor House, it’s been a pleasure being stuck, first in an elevator, then in a bar, with you, but I am going now. I am going to get my friends back.” 
House shook the hand and half-smiled as the drunken man stumbled out into the clear night air. He sat at the bar thinking for a few moments before pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialling #001 on speed dial. It rang for a couple of seconds before it was answered with a wary, “House? Are you ok?”
House grinned into the phone, “Hey Wilson, guess what’s on TV tonight, I really think you should come over…” 

He paid his tab and gingerly got off his stool. 'Poor Dr Venkman,' he thought to himself, 'You really should take the time to appreciate your friends before they give up on you and find someone else.'

He smiled at the evening ahead of him.  Just him and Wilson and no third, fourth or fifth party ever needed to get the party started.

[User Picture]From: gaffsie
2007-02-14 05:53 pm (UTC)
“Man,” he finally decided, “That’s really messed up.” Amen to that, Peter.

I love these insane crossovers. :)
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 01:31 pm (UTC)
Hee! thanks!

(But what do you mean 'insane'?lol)
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[User Picture]From: gaffsie
2007-02-15 02:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, nothing bad, I assure you. Just creative. ;)
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From: sizzleleg
2007-02-14 11:14 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 01:32 pm (UTC)
I'm taking that as a compliment!
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[User Picture]From: traveling_storm
2007-02-15 11:10 am (UTC)
Project Free Jimmy

LOL - okay, I love the banter.

One thing - I thought Peter and Ego were friends first and Ray joined them after? It's been a while since I was an active participant in the Ghostbusters fandom so I could be wrong.

Either way, I adore this crossover. Friends singular indeed - I think House may soon be able to say he has 2 of them. I hope more of these are forthcoming!
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 01:33 pm (UTC)
"One thing - I thought Peter and Ego were friends first and Ray joined them after? It's been a while since I was an active participant in the Ghostbusters fandom so I could be wrong."

I really couldn't remember, and I spent ages thinking about it until I just thought "oh well, call it artistic license"

heh heh thanks! I hope to write more :)
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[User Picture]From: seriouslyroo
2007-02-15 12:55 pm (UTC)
Ghostbusters AND House. <3
I think this crossover is pretty much WINS LIFE. (And Venkman was always my favorite.)

I enjoyed this very much so! :D
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 01:34 pm (UTC)
Hah hah thank you! Check out the rest of the comm for more House/Ghostbusters nuttiness.
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[User Picture]From: angi_is_altered
2007-02-15 01:49 pm (UTC)
Dude, that was genius times like a million. I saw Hugh Laurie and Bill Murray in my head playing this out and it makes me VERY happy inside.
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 07:14 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks. I'd would dearly love to see HL + BM in a scene together.
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[User Picture]From: marginaliana
2007-02-15 02:18 pm (UTC)
LOL House/Ghostbusters!!! This made me grin like a maniac. Brilliant!
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 07:15 pm (UTC)
Hee! Nothing like a little crack to get you through the day!
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[User Picture]From: topaz_eyes
2007-02-15 04:14 pm (UTC)
Hee! I liked this!
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 07:17 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: jerico_cacaw
2007-02-15 04:43 pm (UTC)
Reposted to fix an error

traveling_storm is right: Venkman and Spengler meet first, then Stanz came. And, I used to read Peter/Egon fics some years ago, so reading what PV says in your story about his friends sounds weird to me. But ...

Yay!!!!! RGB LOVE!!! XD God, you just made me squee, and I'm definitelly not a squee type of girl. Great banter, I can see why House would appreciate cynical Venkman.

I have to check this comm.
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 07:21 pm (UTC)
Sorry for the canon-error - I never watched RGB (too old!) much, just with my little brother. I knew that Bill Murray and Harold Ramis were friends first and then met Dan Ackroyd, but never knew it was reflected in GB.

I would change it, but I love the idea of Pete being scared of abandoning Ray too much so I'll just call "artistic license"!

Glad you enjoyed it anyway!
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[User Picture]From: hry2007
2007-02-15 05:45 pm (UTC)
Crap, now I want Bill Murray to be a Season 4 POTW.
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-15 07:23 pm (UTC)
Ah, that would be the dream - it's a pity that Murray's had a career-renaissance lately LOL!
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[User Picture]From: fatalisticrebel
2007-02-15 08:57 pm (UTC)
"Free Jimmy" made me think of Free Willy. Even though they really don't have anything in common. :P
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-27 10:22 pm (UTC)
oh, my dirty mind could easily make a link!
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[User Picture]From: timbershiver
2007-02-27 10:23 pm (UTC)
Heee that's cracky enough!

Thanks :)
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